I gasp for breath as I fall backwards

I feel l i g h t , e f f o r t l e s s

As if I’m in control

I turn in the air

My arms & legs spread out from me

As I fall slowly through the air

The world is turning around me, b e a u t i f u l

. . .

Suddenly I’m choking on water

The gray calm disappearing

I fall through the thin layer of lake . . .

Into a sky of balckness

The city far below me

The beauty ripped away

I’m soaked & cold

And Sacred

Wet cloth & hair sticking to me & whipping around me at the same time

As I fall uncontrollably

Grasping at particles to small for me to hold onto

And fast

The city was so small before

But now it grows, & grows

As I f a l l ever closer

I can barley breathe

The sickness of falling

The fear of hitting the pavement

The pressure of the air itself

Squeeze me tighter & tighter

So that for all the air that brushes my lips

None of it ends up inside my lungs

The first tip of a sky scraper passes by me

Have I fallen so far so soon?

Am I that close to the pavement already?

Every sound comes to me

Every car, shout, movement, the sound of the wind

I see everything

The buildings, the street lights, graffiti, & alleyways

And my lungs are dying

Because soon so will I

Afraid of the pain

Of a stranger finding me broken & not knowing my name

I pray in my thoughts

Don’t let me die

Don’t kill me

And right before I hit the pavement

Right as I can no longer breathe

Right before the pain –

I wake up